Monday, December 1, 2014

1 2 3 cuts deep

Jessica sulked her way to the front door to her apparent fumblin with her keys to unlock the door once she was inside she sat in her chair in the corner of the dark 500 sq. foot appartment Resting her head on the headrest to her chair she took a deep breath reaching over onto the table and pulling out a razor blade from under a book she starred at it for a moment before rolling up her shirt sleeve and began pushing the cold sharp edge of the blade flush with her white pail silky skin softly sliding the razor accrossed her wrist whispering.
"If only you were beautiful like the girls on tv." 
She cut a few more times before softly saying.
"I wish my hips were smaller and my boobs were bigger." 
She pressed harder cutting more and more blood started to flow down her arm like the tears on her cheek slowly carrying away the pain from inside, she then yelled.
"WHY GOD CANT I BE LIKED FOR ME WHY CANT I JUST BE BEAUTIFUL ALREADY!" 
Shoving down harder onto the blade feeling te cold steel sliding deep through the meet of her arm more and more tears flowed and the blood began dropping softy to the hard wood floor she cut up and down her arm leaving not an inch untouched by the blade. After hours and hours of slitting cutting and gouging she thre the blade against the wall and collapsed out of her chair wrapping the blood stained towel that lay beside her chair around her arm as she screamed out.
"Please God make me beautiful already I can't take this anymore i just want to fit in!"
She say there o the floor sobbing for hours before realizing the time and heading to bed. The next morning she woke up and slumped into the kitchen poring her self a bowl of cereal sittin it on the table and sitting down Jessica took one spoon full then realized that maybe if she stopped eating for a couple days she would slim down she stood up pored out the food and went to her chair she slowly bent down scrubbing to remove the large blood stain as it lifted from the floor she threw the rags she used in the bathroom and went to get changed putting on long sleeves and pants even though it was over to be 90 degrees today she proceded to grab her bag and head off to college like every morning Jessica slowly wondered her way to the main building walking into her class room and taking her seat at the front of the class where she sat for easy access in and out of the room it didn't take long for class to begin and about half way through Jessica could feel her eyes start to swell she stood up rushing out of the room to the restroom where she began to break down in a stall as she knelt over the toilet silently balling she heard a noise and a knock on the stall door she sniffled then said 
"Someone's in here." 
A gentle but firm mans voice answered back.
"I know open up!" 
Out of curiousity she opened the door an in walked a tall chubby man with jet black hair Jessica knew him from her class but never had introduced herself before. He shut the door behind him and sat next to her taking her shirt sleeve and lifting it up before leaning down an kissing her wounds, Jessica just sat there in shock.
" how did you know bout my arm and why are you here?" She questioned 
"I found this" the man replied holding out a piece of paper that she recognized right away as the suicide note she had wrote weeks ago and left in her bag
"Young lady you are beautiful the way you are the way God made you stop wishing to be something you arnt and embrace yourself!" He said firmly resting his arm around her. Jessica felt a load come off her shoulders and her heart soften up.
" why do I care what people think of me?" She asked her self.
It was a long hard recovery but after a long gruling year of changes Jessica was cut free and was her self as for the man from the bathroom well he soon there after became her husband and they lived a long happy life together.
The end 

Saturday, November 29, 2014

The Christmas never to be forgotten

It was the last day of school before Christmas break in little constantine the clock read 2:55 five minutes till school was out you could almost feel the excitement building in the room children laughing and wigglin around unable to control them selfs thinking of the plans they had ahead of them all except one little Sydney Welton she sat in the way back almost emotionless dressed in dirty clothes that wernt suitable to be worn to roll in a pig pen and ratty hair that looked as if it hadn't been combed in months as the bell rang she rose from her seat pushing her read glasses up on her face peering out the lenses with her gorgeous blue eyes she waited as kids hustled through the door way the imiage being something similar to Black Friday shopping at Walmart as the classroom grew dim and quiet she slowly walked towards the door catching her teachers attention. Mr. Greenferd had been a teacher for only 3 years he was a tall lean man with slicked back hair and contacts that seemed to make his green eyes glow.
"Ms.Welton what are your plans for break?" He joyfully asked 
Sydney glancing back at him smiled and nodded her head out the window at him Sydney never spoke no one was sure why was almost as if she was mute only by choice. Mr.greenferd stood from his chair and wrapped his arms around Sydney tightly before tellin her to have a merry Christmas he knew her home life wasn't the greatest but without extensive proof there was nothing he could do, Sydney waved as she left the school only having a thin jacket meant for a toddler on she began her tretorous walk home. When she finally arrived home she walked in the back door to find the house empty which was sadly typical she sat down onto the couch like normal and sat there all night eventually falling asleep when she awoke she found her mom and dad passed out on the floor, she slowly arose and placed blankets over them both and began pickin up there mess from the floor several needles a used syringe and a 3 empty vials of heroin  Sydney doing what her dad always taught her took the contraban to the kitchen and began stuffing the evidence Into water bottles then placing them into a ziplock Baggie before placing them into a grace tie bag to be disposed of after complishen of this task she slid her boots on and walked out to the trash throwing the narcotics away as she returned through the door she felt a piercing pain in her temple as she flew to the ground looking up to see her father standing over her. 
"What the f*** do you think you're doing little girl did I tell you to take care of my shit get UR scawny a** out there and bring that back in!" He screamed in her face 
Tears slowly rolling down Sydney's face she returned the bag to her father he slowly opened the bag and motioned for her to come there placing his knee into her stomach he began jabbing her repeatedly with the used needles. This kind of a use happened daily for the next few days it was now the day before Christmas and Sydney's parents were high as usual but something unusual was happening her father told her she could go outside and play jumping at the chance to leave the home she grabbed her coat that was evidentially not made for a 6th grader and began playing in the snow she played for what felt like hours on end before her father came out to retrieve her. When she returned to the house the clock read 8:30pm she stripped off her wet clothing and went into the small living room there was a new man there he was short and stocky black skin and a bald head she had never seen this man before, Sydney soon felt her fathers hand grab her arm and pull her to the center of the room leaning to whisper first to his wife then the strange man after a short time of whispering the man handed Mr.Welton a hunk of cash and Sydney's mom pushed Sydney towards the man he proceded to take her into her bedroom where he very brutally raped her for hours on end finally he finished Sydney thought he never would he threw her on the floor infront of her dad and left not saying a word her dad and mother shortly left leaving Sydney on the floor it didn't take her long to realize something wasn't right she was still bleeding and she could barely move she stumbled to her feat sliding her coat on and fumbled her way out the door with only her coat and a bag with all her worldly belongings (one pair of underwear a bra a shirt and a skirt along with a envelope and her stuffed puppy dog) she made her way to the police department where they quickly were able to figure out she needed help, rushin her to the hospital as the life was slowly draining from her. At the ER an officer sat with her Sydney thought to herself how beautiful this officer was long blonde hair gorgeous blue eyes a light complexion the officer read her several stories before Sydney could no longer understand she slowly slipped into a Koma the officer taking this chance to go through her bag stumbled upon the white envelope covered in blood stains she slowly opened it to find a letter pulling out the letter she heard something hit the ground glancing to her feet she found a bundle of money placing it on the counter she read the small sticky note on the front of the letter which read 
".               CALL Mr.Greenferd
                  1-269-434-9000
The officer dialing fast reached the teacher
" hi mr.greenferd my names deputy Parton I'm with the St.Joe county sheriffs office im here at the ER with one of your students her name is Sydney Welton she's not doing well and in her belongings was a note stating to call you is there anyway you can come down she's currently in a Koma and it's not looking good." 
" il be right down!" Mr.greenferd said panicking he hung up the phone and rushed to the hospital it was now 11:50 as he walked in the room deputy Parton handed him the letter
"Here sir this is for you" 
Fumbling his way to open it he read 
".    11/22/14.      
Dear Mr.greenferd 
 Thanks for all you do for me your warm hugs at the end of the day make me feel a lot better if you're reading this then my fate has finally caught up to me and I want you to know that my parents are abusive they are the reason I'm here but it's ok because God forgives and loves them no matter what jus like me I want you to have all my belongings so I leave to you my puppy Fernando he's who got me through this the most don't mind the tear stains they will wash out and most importantly I leve you all my money $78.65 to be exact I know it isn't much but I ask you use it for me in a special way and get girls like me help. And as for me don't worry I'm not in pain any longer instead I'm with God in heaven rejoicing in my new life I love you Mr.greenferd 
     Love your angel Sydney" 
As tears flowed from his eyes he took Sydney's hand the clock reading 12:01 Christmas Day he sat beside her looking at her as she slowly woke up clenching his hand and leaning in muttering 
"Merry Christmas Mr.Greenferd please don't ever forget me" at the moment she released her very last belonging into his hand her medical aid necklace showing her name along with the symbol meaning she was alergic to peanuts tears streamed down his face as the small girl took her very last breath breaking Down he clenched her necklace leaning down and kissing her hand one last time and murmuring back 
"Merry Christmas my sweet angel rest in piece" he then turned and exited the room.