"If only you were beautiful like the girls on tv."
She cut a few more times before softly saying.
"I wish my hips were smaller and my boobs were bigger."
She pressed harder cutting more and more blood started to flow down her arm like the tears on her cheek slowly carrying away the pain from inside, she then yelled.
"WHY GOD CANT I BE LIKED FOR ME WHY CANT I JUST BE BEAUTIFUL ALREADY!"
Shoving down harder onto the blade feeling te cold steel sliding deep through the meet of her arm more and more tears flowed and the blood began dropping softy to the hard wood floor she cut up and down her arm leaving not an inch untouched by the blade. After hours and hours of slitting cutting and gouging she thre the blade against the wall and collapsed out of her chair wrapping the blood stained towel that lay beside her chair around her arm as she screamed out.
"Please God make me beautiful already I can't take this anymore i just want to fit in!"
She say there o the floor sobbing for hours before realizing the time and heading to bed. The next morning she woke up and slumped into the kitchen poring her self a bowl of cereal sittin it on the table and sitting down Jessica took one spoon full then realized that maybe if she stopped eating for a couple days she would slim down she stood up pored out the food and went to her chair she slowly bent down scrubbing to remove the large blood stain as it lifted from the floor she threw the rags she used in the bathroom and went to get changed putting on long sleeves and pants even though it was over to be 90 degrees today she proceded to grab her bag and head off to college like every morning Jessica slowly wondered her way to the main building walking into her class room and taking her seat at the front of the class where she sat for easy access in and out of the room it didn't take long for class to begin and about half way through Jessica could feel her eyes start to swell she stood up rushing out of the room to the restroom where she began to break down in a stall as she knelt over the toilet silently balling she heard a noise and a knock on the stall door she sniffled then said
"Someone's in here."
A gentle but firm mans voice answered back.
"I know open up!"
Out of curiousity she opened the door an in walked a tall chubby man with jet black hair Jessica knew him from her class but never had introduced herself before. He shut the door behind him and sat next to her taking her shirt sleeve and lifting it up before leaning down an kissing her wounds, Jessica just sat there in shock.
" how did you know bout my arm and why are you here?" She questioned
"I found this" the man replied holding out a piece of paper that she recognized right away as the suicide note she had wrote weeks ago and left in her bag
"Young lady you are beautiful the way you are the way God made you stop wishing to be something you arnt and embrace yourself!" He said firmly resting his arm around her. Jessica felt a load come off her shoulders and her heart soften up.
" why do I care what people think of me?" She asked her self.
It was a long hard recovery but after a long gruling year of changes Jessica was cut free and was her self as for the man from the bathroom well he soon there after became her husband and they lived a long happy life together.